Viewed on 28 Jun 03   For those of you who have only seen the previews of CHARLIE'S ANGELS, you would be forgiven if you thought the movie was an overly glitzy, overlong music video.    You would be forgiven if you thought the cast were delivering second-rate one-liners from ten-year-old comedy club routines.    You would be forgiven if the film appeared to be an all-girl James Bond clone, replete with unpalatably kitschy Bond-style double entendre.  You would be forgiven if you thought that this CHARLIE'S ANGELS had forever sullied its original ANGELS flavor.    You would be forgiven because you would be dead-right.
       CHARLIE'S ANGELS succeeded in dooming itself into oblivion by changing every five minutes from serious dialog to 'spoof' to puerile 'ass' puns.   If ever a film took off in no direction at all, it was because it had no Direction at all, and that lack of direction came from McG, who up until helming CHARLIE'S ANGELS 'directed' only music videos.   (Hey, why were we not surprised to find that out...).   Further, the high-cringe-factor soft porn sequences were neither attractive nor titillating nor amusing - something no amount of glitter could hide.   The word "tasteless" comes to mind here.   The Angel trio were changing 'outfits' so frequently we lost track of who was whom - if we wanted to watch the Fashion Channel...we all have television...
        Bernie Mac, who plays Jimmy Bosley, the token male drone go-between for the Angels and Charlie, is a real-life stand-up comedian.   (Hey, why were we not surprised to find that out...)   Mac is yet another in a long line of comedians who thinks just because Robin Williams can make it in Hollywood with no talent at all, he can too.
        With virtually nothing going for it, this reviewer begrudgingly admits the film editing was superb.   But when a Producer packs a film with 'cameos' its a sure sign he either thinks he has a sure-fire hit, or an irredeemable flop - let's be kind and not pursue this any further.
        LEAST Enduring Line or Phrase:  "Bring it on, Bitch !"


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