Reviewed 01 Oct 2002       In case you were unable to tell from the previews, the posters, the title or any of the other hype, Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood is a women's movie.    The difference between men's movies and women's movies is men's movies have to have a high body count - the more napalm-like car crashes & booby-trapped bus depot lockers the better.    Women's movies, on the other hand, have to have a high emotional body count - the more emotionally wrecked women, the better.   A GREAT women's movie would have emotionally battered women strewn all over the movie set.
        At least that's how it works in theory.    Director Khouri followed the formula right down the line, so where did Divine Secrets~ go wrong?    This feature-length mother/daughter spat was too thin even to be manipulative, not that Khouri didn't give it the old college try.   She even tried trumping with the "nostalgia" card - not once, but several times.    Regrettably, nothing could save Divine Secrets~ - not even the superb cast.    I take that back; the fact that James Garner utterly demeaned himself in the most subservient husband role since Bringing Up Father (remember Maggie & Jiggs?) tells us he almost certainly desperately needed cash to support a substance abuse problem.   Might I suggest he try selling pencils on a street corner?
       Despite Divine Secrets~ being a shoe-in for "2002's Worst Movie", I have it from reliable Hollywood sources that Director Khouri & Producer Bonnie Bruckheimer were spared being tarred & feathered and run out of Tinseltown on a rail by the splendid selection of "oldies-but-goodies" played throughout the movie -songs from Mahalia Jackson and Jimmy Reed are but two examples.   The movie is from Rebecca Wills' book Divine Secrets.   Due to a VERY busy schedule, I regret I won't have time to read it.
       LEAST Enduring Line Or Phrase:   "He hung up on me!"

                     © 2002, Bangkok Eyes / bangkokeyes.com