The problem of not being able to live in a perfect vaccuum AND still be able to do movie reviews completely independently of others' input has not been solved - just refusing to read others' reviews before one writes one's own review is not enough. Before I had a chance to see this latest HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE, I must have heard, at least two dozen times, that THIS time, it is a little edgier, a little scarier. Well, what can I say? Not-.
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OK, the eye-candy was great, but when you have the money to buy whatever SFX you want, you can do anything. But without my sounding like a broken record, a film just can't be a vehicle for Special Effects, it has to be able to stand alone - as in: having a credible story.
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And while we are on the subject, were this particular story in any way related to reality, and I mean, IF, - here we have all these parents sending their spooky, abnormal kids off to a special boarding school taught by the best sorcerers on the Earth - not cheap. And what do these wizardly professors do? They enter the kids into highly deadly competitions in hopes of gaining a little glory for the school (like fighting dragons the size of Tyrannosarus Rex, for example.) I can see the lawyers lining up outside Hogwarts and the other two schools just waiting for the accidents to start happening. Which (guess what?) is exactly what happens in GOBLET OF FIRE - one of the kids dies while competing for a meaningless Goblet. They will be in court until the middle of the next century. Hell, why don't the parents just enroll their kids into Columbine High? Their odds of survival would be better, and the tuition would be one heck of a lot cheaper.
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The film may have one positive use, however: It might serve as a useful and enlightening primer for parents of young teens - helping them to understand all the truly stupid and embarrassing things their kids go through when one morning, their awkward little Junior wakes up and notice the opposite sex. However, there should be a warning posted in front of the theater for those of us who really don't feel like sitting through such tedious, high cringe-factor episodes of hormonal discovery.
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LEAST
Enduring Line or Phrase: "I'm sorry, Harry...."
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