Viewed on 24 March 03    BANGKOK EYES is in receipt of transcripts of DYNAMITE SECRET TAPES of the film planning sessions between Director Daldry and Producer Rudin.  These tapes tell ALL --

        R: (Rudin) 'Steve. I see you've finished reading the screenplay.  What do you think?'
        D: (Daldry) 'Unadulterated hog's wallow.  We're going to have to do some real Spiderman gymnastics if we're going to suck the public in on this one.'
        R: 'Right, and I think I just might have a workable con.  We go artsy-phartsy, of course, but totally over the top, like Hollywood has never seen before.'
        D: 'How?    Make everyone homosexuals with irreconcilable mental anguish?!    Sorry, I was being facetious...'
        R: 'No, no, no, don't apologize, not only will most of the males be gay, all the females will be lesbians.  And their personal psyches are going to be even more screwed-up than the men's.'
        D: 'Saaaay...you know it might just work.  If we do that, though, we are going to have to name it Lesbians In Love, or True Homo Confessions, or Gays Need Love Too, or...'
        R: 'Stop clowning Steve, although I was originally thinking along those lines, what we really need is something that sounds very artistic, but in truth is entirely vapid...we don't want anyone to actually figure out what's going on here.  Something like "The Days", or "The Hours"..., yeah, that's the ticket, "THE HOURS" !'
        D: 'Has the right 'edge'; should fly.  But I gotta tell ya' Scott, we're also gonna need to keep them in suspense, keep them asking, keep them waiting for it all to work out, somehow, in the end.   One thing we could do, we keep 'em off balance right from the opening scene by switching rapidly between eras, say the 1920s in England, the 1950s in the US and the turn of the millennium.  If we handle it right, they'll be so confused, they will HAVE to call it art.'
        R: 'Yeah, that's what I'm banking on.  My biggest concern though, is the ending; no matter what we do, it's gonna suck.  Not even all the homosexual suicide stuff is going to be enough to carry the day.'
        D: 'Hey, leave it to me, why do you think you pay me the big bucks?    When in doubt, use the oldest trick in the book.   We do a voice-over wrap, and hit 'em with the credits before they have time to think.  We use some poignant-sounding poetic material.  We can make some up if we can't get anyone to come back to write for us.'
        R: 'You know, the more we massage this farce, the more I think we will be able to pull it off - but if we are going to really lock it down, we're going to need names -- heavy-hitters, - know what I mean?   That way, noone will dare question its artistic "validity".'
        D: 'Leave it to me, Daddy-o, I've got them all lined up.  And they're all going to work for a percentage of the gate - and the glory, of course.  Heh, heh.'
        R: 'Ha, ha, ha, Now THIS is why I pay you the big bucks !'

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