SCARY  MOVIE  3    -  A  Narada Film Review

   PAMELA ANDERSON    
   	  &
   JENNY McCARTHY
     
   DENISE RICHARDS    
   	  &
   CHARLIE SHEEN
     
   LESLIE NIELSEN    
   	  &
   JA RULE
SCARY MOVIE 3 - 2003   -David Zuker-Director  &   Robert K Weiss-Producer
    From the posters & previews of SCARY MOVIE 3 we knew exactly what to expect - another Leslie Nielsen-orchestrated spoof of the recent spate of other scary movies.  This time, the films being parodied were Signs, and Sixth Sense, and Final Destination and The Ring and feardotcom, and 8 Mile - the latter being the scariest of them all, wouldn't you agree?
         Their posters said "Great Trilogies Come In Threes".  Ahem...yes, but remember that the other side of that coin says, "Tasteless, Ripoff Trilogies Come In Threes."  Pamela Anderson's and Jenny McCarthy's bid for dumbest blonde bimbos in cinematic history succeeded - not only will they never work again in Hollywood, women's rights groups have put a bounty out on them. Also Director Zuker is sternly warned against substituting immature, smutty double-entendre for real humor - sure, you'll get a few titters from the kids in the audience, but it ultimately detracts.  And I'm sure I don't need to tell him the "Scatter-brained President of the US" bit has been done more times than "Who's on first?"  Hint: - get a new schtick, dude.  
         But the thing that has me most worried is the mental health, or absence thereof, of today's Hollywood screenwriters.  I would like to get this straight, so I will make this an open letter to them, and hopefully we will get some meaningful answers in return.  OK, Here's the question:  "How and why was it decided amongst you that a kick in the testicles was funny?  Of course, this begs the question, "If a kick in the testicles is funny, then is 5 kicks in the testicles 5 times as funny?  As soon as they get back to me, I'll let you know.
         Nonetheless, there were a few saving graces in SCARY MOVIE 3, items that made it almost worth the 140 baht ticket.  First up to bat was Queen Latifah, and she hit another homerun,  I've never seen her turn in a bad performance; she is one of the most underrated talents in Hollywood.  Second up to bat was the nephew who played the "Haley Joel Osment type " - the child who could "see things" in the Sixth Sense.  If Zucker had given the screenwriters the necessary time to produce a decent script, this part could have been a classic.
      Enduring Line or Phrase:  "He doesn't know you're a guy..."

© 2003,    Bangkok Eyes / bangkokeyes.com
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